School, uni, work, future...

23rd July 2018

School is done, and has been for about two months. As of writing this, I've not got my grades back yet, but my school career is more or less done. About fourteen years of my life have been spent going to school most days. And what have I gathered from my years in the system? Well, the biggest thing I've learned is that I'm terrible at writing essays.

Back in Year 10, I was put in the top set for English. I remember the moment I looked at the timetable and found that out. I thought it was some kind of mistake, and I expected to go into the room on the first lesson and find out that my name was not on the register. But it was. So for the following two school years, I was amongst the elite crew. It was the first time I'd been in the top set since Year 6 (back in primary school where I ACTUALLY LEARNED STUFF) and my predicted grade was an A but I ended up getting a C. To this day, I can't help but feel that there was something odd about me getting that grade. My GCSE grades overall weren't great but they could've been worse. I copped a C in almost everything. Most of them didn't surprise me, but the one that did was English. I felt almost certain that I grabbed at least a B, judging from the two creative writing pieces that I got A*s for, plus other essays that all got a B or higher. So for me to get a C overall? I guess I would've had to completely fail the exam which, in retrospect, seems quite likely.

When Sixth Form came around, I was rearing to go for a couple weeks. Then I realised it was just Key Stage 4: Part 2. The novelty of having free periods wore off pretty fast. English Lit & Lang was bad from the start; in all honesty, I expected the group I was in to be full of rejects who couldn't get into English Literature or English Language. It wasn't long until I realised I was the only real reject. Long story short, I dropped out of English after turning up five minutes late to the mock exam and getting my third U of the year (I would've gotten that regardless of if I turned up late or not). Year 12 results came back and my hopes of going to university went down the drain once we worked out that the only one I could get into was one down in Luton and I'll bet they'd give you a "degree" that was worth less than the paper it was printed on. So Year 13 then became a losing lap" mainly consisting of reading Wikipedia arguments and playing piano by ear.

I mention my "hopes" of going to university as if they were actually hopes, but let's keep things real here. Even if I miraculously managed to obtain grades good enough to not have my only university option being the bottom ranked in the entire nation, would it really be something I'd want to go into debt over? I'm just tryna get money like everyone else on this planet. If the past taught me anything, it's that the school life is just not for me. So I'd rather not try to get somewhere solely because everyone else is going there. I'd rather be the guy who didn't get in than the guy who got in and failed miserably with a ton of debt. When you think about it, the main goal of all of this is to earn enough money to keep yourself alive and have a decent life. If I can somehow find another way to do that, without having to go down the conventional road that's clearly full of potholes, I'm good.